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You hit me with a cricket bat.

I hate yogurt. It's just stuff with bits in. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why.

It's art! A statement on modern society, 'Oh Ain't Modern Society Awful? '! The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. …hey. …the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

Annihilate? No. No violence. I won't stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm - and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you?

You've swallowed a planet! All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?

1. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?
2. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.
3. I hate yogurt. It's just stuff with bits in.

You've swallowed a planet!

Did I mention we have comfy chairs? No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness. You've swallowed a planet! Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks!

• Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish.
• It's art! A statement on modern society, 'Oh Ain't Modern Society Awful?'!
• You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?

You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? I hate yogurt. It's just stuff with bits in. I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship.

They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!

I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME!

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?

*Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME!

You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better? No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME!

I hate yogurt. It's just stuff with bits in. You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better? I hate yogurt. It's just stuff with bits in.

Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?

No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness. All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff.

All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! You've swallowed a planet!